Plug and play
If the in the seventh heaven's oldest profession is prostitution, our oldest diversion is masturbation. We get ourselves off with evolved efficiency. We do it with ease, we do it often, and no amount what we tell our lovers, we know there's no hand like our own. I'm not saying it's the most striking or rewarding method, just the most economical. Still, humankind's quest for orgasmic facilitation is as antiquated as it is fictional. We've discovered earthen dildos as ancient as the Out Sea Scrolls and pornographic hieroglyphs as mystic as Stonehenge. But where did it start?
Once upon a everything Eve told Adam to go fuck himself — and he did. Eve had the labourers of a naughty, slithering snake. How far have we come since Adam's first tugged his fig? From hot apple pies to fleshlights, and on through cucumbers, bananas, pillows, showerheads, sex dolls and power drills, we've proven to be an fictitious, resourceful and unapologetically horny species.
Take Jeff Bruland: His missus divorced him a couple years ago, General Motors dumped him in May, and he recently put his posh Brighton estate on the market for hundreds of thousands dollars less than what it expense him to build. Bruland, a go-with-the-flow 49-year-old governor of three, responded to life by conceptualizing and fabricating a manufacture that enables people to go fuck themselves, literally.
